Bad News

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Sorry, but I have bad news, I will be on hiatus for a while, I'm not sure for how long though.  I will do my best to write chapters to my stories, but I'm not sure how successful i will be with that.  So, I guess I should tell you the reason behind the hiatus, don't worry, it's a worthwhile reason.  My Oma is in the hospital, she's not doing so good and I just have a bad feeling that she may not make it.  You know how sometimes you get these feelings, even in bad situations, like everything is gonna be ok?  Well, normally I do, like when my grandpa had his lung cancer removed, or my mom had her quintuple bypass  (5 blocked arteries in the heart, you're heart only has 7 that feed it), my Opa was in the hospital to have a stint replaced, or when he had his stroke and had to be hospitalized.  Well, this time, my gut's not telling me things are gonna be ok.  The worst part of it is, she's in California and I'm stuck up here in Oregon.  I got to facetime with her today when my mom went to the hospital to visit her, and she did not look good.  She's got fluid in her lungs, the rash on her leg (which is what put in the hospital in the first place) is spreading, it's actually an infection from the water retention, my mom said.  Because she doesn't move around enough to keep the lymph in her system isn't circulating, so it's just letting gravity do what gravity does, moving everything down.  Your lymph circulates when you move your body, since she's a very  hefty lady (5'0" and about 260 lbs) she doesn't get around that well, not to mention she's like 84.  She has congestive heart failure, which I believe is fluid around the heart, because of the infection on her leg, the infection has moved to her blood, which I know is NOT a good thing.  Her butt hurts because all the weight on it and she can't move around.  It's just really not looking good.  They've got her on all kinds of meds, she's can't really eat solid food, because it's too hard for her, they had to give her a catheter because she didn't have the urge to go, they did an ultra sound to see if there was any urine in her bladder and didn't see any, which is why they gave her the catheter.  Basically, she's really not doing well and I just don't have a good feeling about it.
I know if she passes it will be better for her because her quality of life is so poor right now, but, maybe  I'm selfish because I don't want her to go yet.  I guess none of us really want our family members to go, even if it is better for them.  It was funny, when I was talking to her today, she wanted to know how my love live was, I wanted to start crying when she asked.  Even though she's not doing very well, she still craves that drama, she loves drama, soap operas, things like that, and I just found it rather funny that she still wants to know about my love life, or rather, lack thereof.
I don't know how many of you are religious or what, but I have my beliefs and I know that God or whatever power that be, will do what they think is best for her.  I know she's ready to go, she's told me that she wants to die, she's been ready for a long time now.  I think the only that's really keeping her here, is my opa, she's worried about what will happen to him and her stuff, she's really worried about what will happen to her stuff when she's gone.  I think it has something to do with surviving WW!! and going through the depression, obviously she's German and both her and my Opa survived and emigrated to Canada after the war.  I'm sure some of you are asking yourself, yes my Opa served during WWII, he was in the German Navy was also a POW at one point, though he won't talk about any of that, found some of this stuff out while listening to him and my brother talk after my brother came back from Iraq.
Anyway, I feel a little better getting some of this stuff off my chest, and thanks for letting me go on about it and reading it.  I will eventually start writing again, I just don't want you guys to expect too much from me right now.  I feel horrible about leaving so many things unfinished and making you wait even longer, but I know you will all understand, which is why I love each and every one of you!  Yes, even though I don't know you personally or talk to you over DA, I still love you all!!  I mean, you have to be awesome if you like the stuff I write!
Anyway, like I said, don't expect too much from me right now, but if I have the urge I will most definitely post something.  I may use my writing as a way of forgetting and distracting myself, but I don't know what I will end up writing.  So, please send good wishes, prayers, thoughts anything positive my Oma's way, she really needs it!!

:iconfloatingheartplz::iconfloatingheartplz::iconfloatingheartplz::iconfloatingheartplz:Thank you all so very much!!:iconfloatingheartplz::iconfloatingheartplz::iconfloatingheartplz::iconfloatingheartplz:



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shihachii's avatar
I'm so sorry to hear that your grandmother is in a situation like that. Honestly, I really don't know if anything I say is going to make you feel better or worse.
I just wanted to let you know that if you ever need to talk about anything, I'll be here for you Tyger.
I hope everything starts getting better for you soon love and I-

I love you too Tyger, stay strong!